The biggest thing I have learned over the past seven years is that growth is not linear.
Being uncomfortable is okay. In fact, I think showing up when you don't feel like it; when you're tired, discouraged and it would honestly be easier to quit..is where the real growth happens.
Nobody prepares you for how hard running a business is.
I sometimes feel like there's this stigma that you're not allowed to say that because you're living out your dream. And trust me, I don't love complaining. I know how lucky I am to get to do something I love every day.
But sometimes it's just exhausting.
There is no off button.
There is always a new problem to solve. A new goal to hit. New numbers that are supposed to define growth. And just when you feel like you've figured one thing out, something else happens.
People rely on you. Families depend on you. And the weight of that has never gotten easier for me.
I'm not necessarily a people pleaser, but I do hold myself to a certain standard. Probably not always the healthiest thing, but I know what I'm capable of and I love pushing my limits.
And when I think about who I was when we started Allie + Bess compared to who I am now, I have completely changed.
Not my morals. Not my values. Not who I am at my core.
But the way I show up in business? Completely different.
Seven years ago I was scared. I was intimidated. I cared way too much about what other people thought. I overthought every decision.
Seven years later, I trust myself. I can make decisions confidently without thinking twice. I have a voice and I've learned how to lead, which is HUGE for me because it was never something that came naturally.
A few weeks ago, Bess told me how proud she was of the person and leader I've become. That meant more to me than I think she realized because she knew the version of me who struggled with all of this from the very beginning.
Today, I give feedback. I give direction. I have hard conversations. I make decisions and stand behind them. I trust myself.
And maybe more than anything, I've learned that being a good leader doesn't mean having all the answers. It means being willing to make the call, own it, and keep moving forward.
All things that would have intimidated me to no end seven years ago.
I was the kid growing up who never wanted to be called on in class. I wouldn't raise my hand to read because if I couldn't do it perfectly, I didn't want to do it at all. And goodness forbid I got an answer wrong in front of everyone.
Well, guess what?
Seven years into AB and I have failed so many times and done so many dumb and silly things in front of thousands of people that at this point I barely blink.
And maybe that's one of the greatest gifts this business has given me.
I've learned that people aren't thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.
Make the decision. Try the thing. Get it wrong. Learn from it. Move on.
I hope one thing that hasn't changed in seven years is that you know how deeply I care about every single person who has ever supported us along the way.
It has never gone unnoticed.
I still remember customer names from the very beginning. There have been customers who suddenly disappeared after years of ordering and I've looked them up or reached out just to make sure they were okay. Not because they stopped buying. Believe it or not, I genuinely care about y'all.
There are real people on the other side of every order, comment, DM and email. I don't ever want to forget that.
I wish I had some grand advice about how to start a business or how to stay in business for seven years.
I don't.
Bess and I always give the same answer when we're asked:
We never quit on the same day.
Well, that and...
Just start.
Be yourself.
Stay humble.
Quit trying to be someone you aren't.
If you talk a lot, talk a lot. If you have something to say, say it. If you're quiet, you don't have to become the loudest person in the room to be successful.
Your people will find you.
Show up and keep showing up.
When it's hard.
When it would be easier to quit.
When you're tired.
When the numbers aren't what you hoped they would be.
When you don't know how you're going to make payroll.
When the stress feels like more than you can carry.
Remember why you started and keep going.
Seven years later, I don't have it all figured out. I don't think I ever will.
But maybe that's the point.
Growth isn't finally getting to a place where everything feels easy.
Growth is becoming the person who knows she can handle it when it doesn't.
Here's to seven years of figuring it out as we go.
And to every single one of you who has allowed us to keep going, thank you.
I mean that more than you'll ever know.
-- Allie